Flawed Flowers

I debated long and hard about writing this post. But, y’all have always been with me thru thick and thin. The good, the bad, the ugly. Remember the maggots?? That post is gone now, since I quit paying for the domain. Probably for the best.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. On the 17th, only 3 short days after Valentine’s, and only 2 days after I published https://purpleslobinrecovery20.design.blog/2021/02/15/very-valentine/

I found out why the flowers.

He was cheating on me.

My sis forwarded a message on FB, from one of her friends, concerning a guy trying to friend her, who had porn on his profile. Unlucky for him, that he chose that particular woman. Lucky for me. I woke him up, and told him to log onto his FB. Of course he fumbled around, and said he couldn’t remember PW, since he just woke up.

So, I pulled up his profile, and pointed to the porn. He blanched. “How did you do that?” Apparently you didn’t know that profiles are public, huh?

So, I made him march back to his room and I grabbed his phone, locked. OF course. I made him unlock it, and grabbed it again, before he had any time to delete anything. The first things that pulled up were messages from 3 women. I only read the first one, and got sick to my stomach.

WHAT is this?? Somehow I kept my voice calm, and even, not yelling. “It’s only a game.” He was yelling. A GAME?? “It’s only a word game.” It’s not a GAME to me! Again with the “It’s only a game, to see what they’ll say.” He kept screaming, I kept calm.

I read their texts outloud. “I love you, HK.” he said. HK was our secret code for hugs, and kisses. At least I thought it was OUR secret code. Apparently, it was his code to whatever woman he was talking to at the time. She answered the same. “I can’t wait to see you again.” Her answer echoed his.

I said Did you meet her in person? “NO!” I don’t believe you.

So, Again I read the first lines aloud, and said, These are the same exact words you wrote in my Valentine’s card, only 3 short days ago. So either you love her, and you’re lying to me, or you love me, and are lying to her. Which is it?

He yelled, “I love you!” Then why are you texting other women? And telling them you love them? In the same exact words you wrote to me??? I don’t believe you.

More yelling.

I don’t believe you, was my answer for every word he said.

I will take the car, and I want $600 a month support. “NO! That’s my car, and I need it!” You have your little beater truck. You drive it all over the county to junk, you can certainly drive it to church. (I have the car sitting outside, right now.)

Take me to my mother’s please. But we had to wait till 7 am. No way was I going to wake her up at 2 am. I stayed there 2 nights, not knowing where I would live after 2 weeks of staying with her.

Thankfully DD1″s roomie moved out on Sat, and she asked me to move in.

From her apt here, well I guess it’s our apt now, is where I wrote, “https://purpleslobinrecovery20.design.blog/2021/02/25/calm-corner/

Everyone thinks I’m devastated. Actually, after the first shock, horror, and being MAD, I’m sorta relieved. He has been emotionally unavailable for a looooong time. After this second marriage, the honeymoon lasted about 9 months, then it was back to his behavior for the last 11 years of the previous 13 yr marriage. Why did I think things would be different?? Hope springs eternal.

This 5th time around, (2 marriages to first hub, 3nd to Bobby who died, now 2 to this husband, I won’t label him Dear anymore), I’ve finally learned my lessons. I’ve done everything I know how to be a good wife. My deep depressions were very hard on him, I’m sure. But they are not my fault, and no excuse for him to go outside the marriage. I was right there, craving his love and attention, and not receiving it.

Both of my first marriages, I cheated. Then I was diagnosed bi-polar, after I went to rehab for 3 weeks for my drinking. The Dr said both drinking, and sexual acting out were very common signs of bi-polar. No cheating on Bobby, we were only married 2 months, before he died. He had been in prison for 2 yrs, after our inital 18 months together. (Previous parole violation he had to take care of.) Our first marriage to now husband, I cheated, with an old, dear friend who had been in love with me since we were 18. Again, it was the same situation of starving for love, and attention, which is not an excuse. Then, he cheated, to even the score. At that age, you’d think we would have more mature than that. SMH

So, as I said, this time I learned all my lessons. I did everything I could. I was faithful. So now, I have a release. Jesus said,

Matthew 5:32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:

This also applies in the reverse. If he commits adultery, then she is innocent. Which I am.

I probably overshared. You might not have wanted to hear all that, but I felt I needed to make the situation clear, and take my part of the responsibilities for our previous marriage when I broke trust, and committed adultery.

Thank y’a SO much for being here for me!! ❤

Sherri, Carmen, Gail, Dolly, Venus, Jen, Jenny, Jennifer, and Crystal

If I forgot someone, please forgive! ❤

Now my new life begins!! Looking forward to the adventure!

Calm Corner

Boy, I’m really fascinated with dust lately!! I must be attracted to it or something!

Here’s the dustiness;

Not too bad!

Now for the wall beside it;

Even better!

Not bad, not bad. I like it when the mess isn’t too huge!

Little bit of chair sweeping, I just realized I should of had someone take a pic of me chair sweeping! I love these tile floors!! I can scoot all the way to the kitchen! Whoop, Whoop!

Best:

Well, dusting off my hands, that job’s done! Looks great! Thx!

Birthday Blessings

Today is my 60th!! How old am I?? My brain is shrinking!! (But that’s normal, the Dr. says, and it’s only slightly. Whew!) God is so good to me!!

How did I get so old?? That’s the question!! Well, time flies when you’re having fun, so I guess I’ve been having lots of fun!! 🙂

From my special Sissy;

See, Dolly? I promised I’d smile!!
So cheerful!!

And candy from Sissy too! It’s Valentine’s heart, who cares?? Not I!! It was on clearance, and it’s chocolate!! Chocolate is the only thing that matters!!

Russell Stover!! She cared enough to send the very best!!

The sun woke me up at 9:30, saying, “Hello, Sunshine!

From my Mama:

And $20 dollars! Wheeee!! I smell a meal out today!!

Even with my shrunken brain, I’m gonna enjoy my day to the fullest!!

Dusty Dog

Have you ever innocently looked into a corner, and been scared to death??

WHAT is THAT??

Oh man!! Is that a dusty ghost animal, that’s gonna rise up, and bite me??

Is it full of real spiders, that are gonna rise up, and bite me??

Gingerly I approached it, with a wad of tp in my hand. SMASH!!

Well, if it was a ghost, I de-dusted it! If it was spiders, I crushed them.

Oops!! Forgot to take pic of the dust ball. Oh well.

At least I remembered to take a pic of the clean corner.

Well, okay, cleaner-ish! corner!

Very Valentine

This year, I thought we weren’t gonna do Valentine’s Day, really. Yes, I did buy him a card, but that was all.

But look what he brought me home after lunch!!

Yes, my Mama would’ve required a shirt, but we’re not that fancy here!

Sweetheart, I love you!! Thank you so much!!

In other news, since my birthday is only 10 days away, my nephew gave me this tonight, after pizza at their house.

My sister started laughing! She said, “I know you didn’t buy that for Aunt Melinda, why did you really buy it??

Blushing, he said, “Well, I immediately wanted it, so I put it on the conveyor belt. Then I remembered Aunt Melinda’s birthday is coming up, so I decided to give it to her.”

Awww, what a sweet boy! Gave me his balloon! In the same spirit, I gave it right back!!

I’m good!!

2021 in 2021

How could I have forgotten??? Last year, I got rid of 4040 things!! Some were tiny, it’s true- but size doesn’t matter. Clutter is clutter, no matter how small. (Do I need to give a nod to Horton Hears a Who?)

I was reading Jen, from Hidden Hoarder, today, and she mentioned the 2021 in 2021 Decluttering challenge, from Rachel Jones, at Nourishing Minimalism.

My thoughts, Hey!! How could we have forgotten that?? Last year we filled up two whole charts!! We need to do that again!! Yes, we did! And we were so proud of ourselves, we bragged far and wide! I don’t know. How did you forget? It wasn’t me!

Whatever, whomever, we forgot. But thanks to Jen, now we remember. Thanks Jen!

(Goes to Rachel’s website, signs up.)

It’ll be arriving in our email box soon!! Squeeeee!! And I already have _9_ items, from Meds Mountain to mark off!! WootWoot!! 2021, here we come!!

Hey, why stop at 2021? Last year we did 4040, why not shoot for 6063?? Like you added 20 boxes to your OCC count?

Ummm, why don’t we just fill up the first one or two charts, and see how it goes, mmkay?

Alright. (depressed slump, sotto voce) I’m gonna work twards it anyway. I don’t care what you say!

Huh? What’s that?

Nuttin. I didn’t say nuttin.

Double negative. That means you did say something.

I thought you quit being a grammar Nazi??

Uh, uh, yeah, I did, sorta.

Well then, I didn’t say nuttin! Good day, sir!

(Opens mouth)

(Glares)

Good day to you!

My Messenger

DD1 finally got to go see the girls, after her long Covid saga. BTW; the heart Dr. told her she didn’t have a heart problem. Excuse me?? He don’t want me to come over there! Time for a second opinion!

She took them their Christmas presnents, and guess what?? PP got a phone!! DD1 put Kids’ Messenger on it, and they surprised us with a call!! We were so thrilled!! Now we can video call anytime!! This will become addictive very soon, I predict!

CC received a digital camera. Look forward to 11ty thousand pix of our foreheads~ 😉

I feel like that old lady in the commercial long time ago, who couldn’t figure out the computer. I really was happy! Even tho I forgot to inform my face!

Various Valentine’s

I bought tons of litte Valentine’s things. (I’m sure most of them were from China, I backslid from my vow to stop buying Chinese. sigh I disappointed myself. But holidays are my kyptonite!! I did stop hubby from buying socks! I insisted he go to Dollar General, and they were American!! Score!!)

Anyway, I divvied them up to all the family, and some of my friends.

The Scooby snacks are for Bubba, and haven’t gotten enveloped yet. SShhh! “Shirley, don’t tell!!”

DH took them to mail. He was shocked by the price! So was I! But at least it was my money not his! If it was his money, they never would have gotten mailed!

wow!!

That did include a book of stamps, thankfully!

In other Valentine’s news, I gave Mama these;

Conincidentally, when I gave them to her Friday, she was wearing an animal print outfit!! SCORE!!

And the earrings for myself, and Sis.

Sadly when I tried to put mine on, my ears were already closed up. Now that left one hurts, cuz of the thorough jabbing I gave it!

Oops, I found another bag of Valentine mail to go! I better sneak those off to the PO myself!!

Only 6 more!

And my Sis-in-love’s Shirley’s, who I haven’t found out in the mess of the living room… I promise you’ll get it before your bd Shirley!

“Small comfort,” she says, “Since my bd is in June.” She has a dry humor like that.

Also, when Bubba got his, Sis Shirley let me know why the postage was so outrageous- DH had paid for tracking!! Oy vey!!

Desk Doings

As always, my desk was messy.

Ah, that’s not too bad. I can still see the monitor! lol

Decided to fix the sitch.

Do you like that?? Or is the white background, with purple words better?

Looks great!!

But how long did it stay that way?? That’s what we really need to know!

Fine, here it is. 4 days later.

Hey, that’s our friend, Crystal!! Looks good! Proud of you!! Why thanks!

Well, I am impressed! Keep up the great work! Gonna try, for sure!

Tough Tooth

Another one bites the dust. 😦

I just had to get a broken tooth pulled in Nov. It broke slap in half. The dentist had to pry, dig, drill… It was not a happy time! And I have a $300 bill to show for it. At least it’s healed now.

Then Sunday, as I was eating garlic bread, I heard that familiar CRUNCH. Oh no!! Which one now?? Garlic bread ain’t even hard!!

A big chunk! And a tiny sliver of the edge of the tooth. I guess I swallowed that, since it never came out. Whaaat?? Just reporting the facts ma’am.

And, I can’t go back till I pay off my bill. Isn’t that just peachy?? NO!! That’s what I said.

I’ve been expecting this, since the last one broke. These silver fillings are only about 30 years old. I guess I got my goodie out of them! But at this point, I’d rather pull them than let the dentist talk me into a $3k root canal, and crown. Then in a few months, it will break anyway, and I’ll be out 3K for nothing. No thanks!

In November, he argued with me, about pulling. I told him, “Look here whippersnapper, I’m old enough to know what I want to do with my own mouth. Pull it.” Did you really?

Yes! Well, all except for the whippersnapper part. lol

In the past, I’ve let them talk me into root canals, and crowns. Now I have two gaping holes. So, learning from my mistake, standing up for myself!!

Please God no more!! When I told Mama, she said, “Dentures aren’t as bad as you think.” But I’m not old!! I still have my front teeth. I’ll just nibble my food like a rabbit, I guess. Well, failing that, there’s always baby food! Thanks a lot!

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