Domestic Damage

Caralyn, from Beauty Beyond Bones, reminded me October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

National Domestic Violence Hotline1-800-799-7233

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Free. Confidential. 24/7.

Sadly, I’m all too aware of the devastation people suffer from domestic violence. My dad abused Mama, as well as my brother, and I.

Michelle, the baby, was his princess. So, she escaped. Plus, the fact that we 3 conspired to always protect her, as I’ve mentioned before. (In my previous blog.)

Then, my second husband, Bobby, was very emotionally and verbally abusive.

I thought he was the most handsome man in the world! IF you don’t, please don’t tell me!

Ok, back to Caralyn’s post, about Gabby Petito.

Here’s my comment;

“Dog usually gets his man. I have faith in him getting the job done. They don’t call him Dog for nuttin!
I survived severe emotional, and verbal abuse in my second marriage. It’s awful to say, but I thank God he died of cancer shortly after our wedding. We had a total of 3 1/2 years together, but he was in jail for the middle 2 years of it. If he hadn’t died, I really dread to think of what the outcome would have been. But he got saved in jail, so I have confidence he’s in heaven. After his death, his adult son asked how I’d dealt with the physical abuse. I said, “WHAT??” He had abused physically all his other 5 wives. (Also a caution if he’s divorced 5 times! The only common denominator there is him!!) The first time he raised his fist to me, I told him I’d punch him in the stomach so hard, it would split him open, and I’d make sure he never got up again. I was 100 lbs, and 6 inches taller. Plus he’d been hit by a semi, so his guts were held together by surgical mesh. He thought about it for a second, went outside and punched a hole in our trailer siding. Thank God I never allowed myself to be physically abused. Probably because of my large size. But words still leave gaping wounds. They just aren’t visible.
Women need to pay attention to their family’s reactions, and cautions! I didn’t, to my sorrow. If you dread introducing him to family, cuz you fear they won’t like him, PLEASE stop and think!! Your intuition has a good reason for that hesitancy!! And if your family is concerned, there’s good reasons for that too!! <3″

Also, I set a horrible example for my 2 girls. They saw how he treated me, and he yelled at them too. So, that behavior was normalized. Thank God, DD1 was aware he was wrong, and moved out after a little over a year.

Still, she was so horribly emotionally, and verbally abused by a boyfriend later, then her husband, she now has to deal with PTSD, as do I.

We need to show our children that being abused is wrong. They need to know we will always be there for them! As teens, we need to monitor their friends, and then romantic interests! Make sure you spend enough time around them as a couple, so that you can see warning signs, when they pop up.

Our daughters, nieces, cousins, friends, etc, need to know they don’t have to live like that!! There is help!! Of course, the best way is to never get in the situation in the first place. But, abusers usually are so slick, and charming, that we can’t see the demon under the surface!!

Please, if you are being abused, reach out!!

If you know someone is being abused, reach out to them. Offer help, and a safe space, love, and encouragement.

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I did just say girls. But one of Caralyn’s commenters chewed her about only talking about girls. Well, naturally she was talking about girls being abused, since she was discussing Gabby Petito. But, the mean person did have a point. Some boys/men are abused as well. I never knew that till I was an adult.

No person, big or small, male or female, should have to endure abuse of any kind. I wonder if that kind of loving world will ever exist. Human nature being what it is, I can’t see it ever happening.

Published by purpleslob

I'm a Jesus lover, who loves my 2 grandbabies, and purple!

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