Wed. I slept till 3:30 pm, because I had stayed up so late, well early, actually Tue night/ Wed. morning. And I vaguely heard the phone ring several times, but when I’m snoozing, no phone for me! When I finally woke up, I checked my messages. Aunt Cindy had called 5 times! Uh oh! Last time she did that was in Oct, when her little sister, Diane, my youngest aunt died. So I knew it was serious.
My dad had fallen at 5:30 am, and was in the ER. Oh no! At 80, falls can be very serious!
So, I got dressed, and rushed over to his house. My stepmom #3, Rosemary, is almost totally deaf. So I had a really hard time getting her to hear me, and open the door. As soon as she opened the door, she was already crying.
I gave her a BIG hug!! And she didn’t want me to let go.
Then she sat in her recliner, and I sat in dad’s hoveround. The only other seat in the living room is his recliner, and she didn’t want me to sit there. So, I scooted really close to her, and held her hand while she talked. Poor thing, she feels so isolated, since it’s so difficult to have conversations with anyone. But she can talk!
Later, I called the nurse, and she said dad had a fracture in his back, and tested positive for Covid. OH NOO!! Remember what a horrible time DD1 had in Dec?? Christmas Crisis And is still having with her heart issue after effect?? My Messenger
She had tried to go visit, but was turned away, since he was positive. They won’t even let her bring his glasses.
But she didn’t know about his fracture, since they hadn’t done the CT scan yet, when she was there. More tears, bless her.
She is such a generous loving person, and wife!! She waits on him hand and foot! He already was in bad shape, before the fall.
My heart fell, when I heard the news. Falls that serious, with broken bones, in such a fragile condition elderly person usually doesn’t end well.
The next day, I was able to talk to him, and pass their love messages back and forth. (EEWW! lol)
He told me they offered surgery. But when they did his heart tests, it was too weak to do the surgery.
So Monday he is going to a nursing home. He is on alternating oxycodone, and dilaudin. I was surprised he wasn’t on a morphine drip, with his baseline level of pain already so high, even before the fracture.
Since he is so big, about 3x her weight, and at least 5 inches taller, he won’t be coming home. Ever. At first, I didn’t say anything about that. I knew she wouldn’t be able to face it then.
But today, Fri. she brought it up. She nursed her sick daddy, mama, and brother till their sucessive deaths. So she knew, even without me saying anything.
About 3 months ago, I’d had a sort of premonition, I guess, about him dying soon. So, I wrote a long list of at least 20 things he needed to do to prepare for the end. He handled ALL the business. #1- she can’t use the phone. #2- she was too nervous to ever try to learn the computer.
So, I asked her for the list of email log ins, websites, passwords, etc. Thank God he’d done what I advised him to do!!
I began looking at things.
Monday, we’ll go to the bank, and add her to his accounts. Thankfully, they’d written out POAs for each other. That will make everything SO MUCH EASIER!!
Also, he who isn’t to be mentioned, and I had already begun the process of decluttering their FL room. Remember? Dad’s Deals or Duds
I’m so thankful Dad had already given his permission for that. It will make it so much easier to continue. Otherwise, Rosemary might had balked, not wanting to disturb his stuff.
Sorry, I know this is getting long, but gotta finish. Thanks for your patience!
I’m not sure if he has realized it yet, about him never coming home… But I won’t have to be the one to tell him. Since he’s Covid positive, he’ll have to wait till they have a spot in a Covid ward, before he can be transported. Then, it will depend on nursing home policy, after he’s negative, whether he’s allowed visitors are not. Not sure where things are at.
She tested Wed. And will find out her results tomorrow.
Since he didn’t have a filing cabinet, and she’s not sure where all his papers are, we’re gonna have a fun treasure hunt next week!! YAY! Doesn’t that sound like a great time?? Um, not really, no. I know. But gotta have a cheerful attitude!
Thank God my Sis, Michelle, bought him a prepaid funeral last year, when she sold her rental house!! One less thing for Rosemary to have to worry about.
So, I’ll keep you informed, how things go.
God bless you, and good luck for taking care of your dad and his wife during this difficult time.
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Thank you so much, Betty.
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I’m so sorry to hear this. Hopefully no one else test positive.
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Thanks, Barb. Rosemary tested negative. Husband and I don’t have our results yet.
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Thanks, Barb. Rosemary was negative. No name and I tested Sat. We should know by tomorrow.
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We were both negative as well. Thank God!
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I am so sorry to hear that, dear Melinda! I am praying for you to have strength to go through this challenging time. Sending blessings to your dad, his wife, and your entire family.
Much love,
D
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Thank you, my wonderful friend! Rosemary is grieving, because she knows he’ll never be home again. But both my dad, and she are so grateful for my help. I’m very glad to be able to be there, for her. ❤
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You are blessed with a kind heart, my favorite purple person! I’ve been through this with my father and stepmother, and I know how hard it is.
Love you,
D
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Thank you, Dolly. I’m glad I can help them, without having to subject myself to his abusive presence!!
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Just pray that this last stage of his life goes on without undue pain and with the most comfort that could be provided. I am praying for you, dear purple person!
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They’re giving him the max pain meds they can, unless they go to morphine. Which, it might come to that, in a little bit. since he’s Covid, both he and Rosemary are suffering from the loneliness. That’s so sad, not to be able to be together. Thank you!!
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It is the dratted Covid that separates people. When my father had to go into an Assisted Living facility, I was able to arrange it so that my stepmother went with him and they shared a room. She was with him to the last moment.
Praying for you and for them!
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So sorry about this. Prayers for all!
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